Don't really have much to blog about lately...just the same old stuff in the same old life...same problems that have no solutions, same confusions, same excuses. Same same same...hoping that the new year will bring new things, better things, or at least a small change of pace. That's what I think is triggering my slump lately. I'm just bored. Bored in general, tired of doing the same things, making the same decisions, having the same conversations over and over again. It's all very mundane and repetative. Day in and day out I go to work, come home watch a little tv then go to bed. Weekends? Hey, I might go out one night over the weekend now, but only because I got bored with going to bars & clubs, meeting drunk retards and spending way too much money. Bored bored bored. Even new year's eve...no one made plans, and I wasn't about to. Tried the party thing, but getting answers like "I'll stop by" and "I might show up" don't cut it when you've got to buy food and alcohol. Why waste the time and money to have nobody show? Not a big loss though, home really isn't all that bad and there's alcohol here. Yay!!

Christmas was pretty good this year. Spent the day with the family, that was a little weird though. My grandmother used to sleep at my house x-mas eve and open gifts with us on x-mas morning. It was so different with her not being here, uber sad. Anyway, we ate dinner any everything, fam left pretty early. Called up a good friend of mine and met up with him and a few others at the diner for what I thought was going to be for about an hour. That hour ended up being a quick cup of tea, a movie and then off to the bar. Had a lot of fun that I wasn't expecting to have. I drove the friend's gf to the bar and he went in another car. I actually have a really cool time hanging out with her. She's cool to talk to, it's actually quite refreshing having another chick to hang out with since females are very limited in the group. Too bad I don't see her that often.

Work actually hasn't been so bad. Boss has the flu!! I don't mean to be happy about it, but hey, it means less work for me. And it kind of gives me time to rest up for next week. OM is going to be on vacation for like 11 days...that means all his shit gets dumped on me!! How great it that?!?!?!?! Wow, I guess I did have to blog!! There's a lot more I could find to write about...think I'll skip it though. This chair sucks and my ass is staring to hurt. Time to go. Happy f'in new year.

One attached to another by affection or esteem, a favored companion, one that is not hostile, a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. These are just a few definitions of what a friend is. Just decided to look it up. I have a freind that was kind of scummed over during the weekend. This person's "friends" were asked to do something, something very simple and failed to do it. The something they were asked to do was very important to this person, as it would be to anyone asking the same thing, yet the ones asked for the favor, the ones my friend trusts and confides in, spends time with and even loves in one way or another, couldn't come through. I just don't understand how people can be so inconsiderate and uncaring. How some people can just disregard another's feelings withough thinking twice. I wish people would just sit back once in a while and imagine what it would be like to walk in someone else's shoes. To imagine what it would be like to live someone else's life, look like someone else, deal with someone else's family, think like a different person, not have as much money, there are so many things that people overlook, that they don't see how lucky they really are, or how conceited and selfish they can be sometimes.

All in all it was a good weekend. Stayed in Friday, didn't feel like going anywhere. Saturday went into the city with a bunch of people for my girl's birthday. Had a lot of fun, made an ass out of myself (fell again) then went for coffe/tea with another friend since I didn't feel like going home yet. Sunday was a "stay in bed the whole day" day. I enjoyed every second of it and desperately needed it. I really should have tried to get some more shopping done, but it gave me time to think about things and just rest up.

Ok starting to get a little pissy now...there's this guy in my office that feels he has free reign of every phone in the company! He's been sitting in my office making personal phone calls for about half an hour!! He's really obnoxious and annoying, wish he'd just go away! Did you ever hear one of those voices that just pierces your ears and sends chills down your spine? Well that's this guy, nevermind the fact that he slobbers all over the place to the point that I have to use alcohol pads and lysol on my own damn phone!! ok, back to work...I'm leaving until he gets the hell out of my office!!

Back to the "guys are the suck" days. I just don't understand them one bit! "Mr. J" dumped my ass last night and was too coward to even come up with a valid reason, nevermind the fact that he was too chicken to even do it in person!! I got almost every line in the book that got him out of telling the truth. Honestly why can't people just be honest instead of giving bullshit answers. Here, we'll go down a partial list....1) You're a sweet girl and I don't want to hurt you....please! Anticipation of something going wrong is not a reason for ending a "realtionship" (if that's even what it was)!! I actually feel pity for people who use this one. It makes me think that they have self- esteem issues and that's sad. Get over it already because you're never going to know what could happen unless you test the waters, aside from the fact that everyone has "relationship" problems. I don't care who you are or what you think, no situation is ever perfect, everyone has problems, so deal with it! 2)It's not you, it's me....duh, obviously considering I wasn't the one with the problem, my only problem was being nieve and thinking things were fine, could've fooled me! 3)I don't want to waste your time...hello!!! Too late for that, not that a month is a long time to be wasted, but there were opportunities that I so could have jumped on, but I didn't because of the feelings I had for this immature, secretive, commitment-phobe. Not for nothing, he wasn't for me anyway. We're two very different people with seperate views. I guess I knew we were'nt really comapitble but stuck with it for the sake of dating someone. "Mr. J" was too into himself, and often came out with things that were very selfish. He had unrealistic expectations and delusions of gradeur. He also seemed like he wanted me to change certain things about myself to fit a "mold" of what he wanted a girlfriend to be. That is so not my bag! Get over it...I am who I am and I'm not going to change for anyone. I like who I am, I love my personality, my looks, my views, and anyone that thinks I should change for them isn't good enough for me anyway. I would say I'm better off lonely and miserable than with someone who wants me to change, but I'm not lonely and miserable...that's the great part, the realization that I don't need someone to make me happy. I can be happy all on my own. Granted, it's nice to have someone to share things with and spend time with, someone to like/love...whatever...but it's not a necessity. K, think I'm done ranting for now...time to get to work!