Weird times going on lately...had a really bad couple of weeks at work, computer problems, firing a fellow employee soon, recognizing stupid mistakes I've made in numbers and such, submitting shit like commissions on time. A whole lot of not fun. Had a wake last week, my uncle's stepfather who has been in his life since he was little...he didn't really know his biological father which I think is sad. I remember going to my aunt & uncle's house and spending the day with Andy(the stepfather) playing with an old toy slot machine. It's upsetting seeing someone you care about in pain, even though it was a long time coming. He had been sick for a long while.
Anyhow, on to other news. Went out over the weekend with a chick of mine. Had a really good time, came to some realizations on the ride home about just life in general....time to move out and be more independant, don't date people who are beneath you, things of the sort. I'm testing the waters with a few things, but that's about it...no high expectations anywhere b/c that would give me false hopes and those are things that I've given myself absolutely enough of in the short span of life I have existed in so far. Another girly friend of mine said something to me that really hit home. I had been venting to her about a guy that I've been talking to again lately who is a part of my recent past. She said "Cin, it's time to take the record off of repeat". Thought about it for a long time and decided that I'm going to learn how to do that some day, but for right now I think there's a certain comfort in familiarity. Maybe I just keep up with the familiar in the hope that things will end up changing, then again maybe things are just fine the way they are right now and I shouldn't sweat it. I'll figure it out though. It's time to just do what I want to do, think what I want to think and deal with whatever may happen. Opinions are greatly appreciated, but I've come to learn that I need to listen to everyone's point of view and not agree if I don't.
Stopped in last week at a bud's house to say hello and catch up a bit since I hadn't seen him in about a week and we started talking about vacations. It's been a recurring discussion that we have never taken action on until now. I've been on the brink of a major burnout between work, family and the other "situations" in my life and I could definitely stand getting away for more than just a long weekend. It's good for a person to get away every once in a while if not for anything but clearing your head. Anyway, this bud decided he wanted to go on a road trip to see a friend of and asked if I'd like to tag along. Said he was going to go whether or not anyone was going to join him on the adventure. I've been thinking about it since we planned it , since I thought it had only started out as a suggestion, but I think saying I'd go is actually a really good idea with major perks. Rates are uber cheap, I get to leave NY, I get to do some bonding with a really good friend for a few days, maybe get to meet a few new people while I'm at it, nevermind that fact that I love to drive and it's going to take about 12 hours!! Tee hee!! Hope the bud doesn't get into the "driving zone" and make me be the perpetual passenger. That would make me sad. Anyhoo here comes the gripe part, a few people who know about the road trip are leery as to the motive for it. OK, I lied, everyone that I know who knows about it is leery, family included. Duh, there is no motive!!!!!! It's just a short trip with a good friend where we get to leave the city for a few days in order to ensure that we don't go postal with all the hub-bub that is our lives. I'm kind of confuzzled as to why this is causing such a commotion among others. People are making the whole thing out to be so strange when it's really very simple. We're really good friends, nothing more than that, we enjoy eachother's company and have a blast when we hang out together. Just because we're of opposite sexes and not in any type of relationship people are viewing it as something that just shouldn't be done. Ooh no!!! A vairance from the norms of society!!! Scary!!! I can see where some people might be suspicious about the whole thing, but that comes from jumping to conclusions and fabricating their own narratives of what is actually going to happen on this trip. Gimme a break, we're going to drive, eat, sleep, and see a few local sights which, for the most part, include horses, horticulture and bourbon making. (tee hee....bourbon) It all comes down to trust anyway....dudes, trust my judgement, trust his judgement, realize that we're all grown ups now, and really think it through thoroughly. Take this simple trip at it's face value, for that is all that it is. A simple trip. I don't know, maybe it's me. How can something so simple in my whacko mind be so complicating to everyone else? That must be it...I'm whacko and people don't understand me. Different strokes for different folks I guess. :( I have to get back to work. Fun Fun Fun, at least the boss-man isn't here today!!!
