Yeah, so not feeling so great lately. Physically I'm fine, mentally not doing so well. It's almost blow up time...this is how it works....I let things slide and I selectively forget that a lot of things happen...then it all bum rushes me at once and I freak out, blow up, let everything I've let build up come out in one big jumble of messiness. I know it's not such a good way of dealing but hey, it's my way.

My gripe today...somtimes I look at people and wonder what they really care about, why some people are so selfish and self-centered, why some people don't realize what they have and why they want what they can't have. Why some people ignore situations they get themselves into, or try to verify/weasle out of the situations they are in. What kind of people are really in the world today?!?!?!

Last night I went to see someone that I really had no urge to see. Had something they needed so I really didn't have any other option aside from the U.S. postal service(which would have been a better idea in my eyes). Haven't really spoke to this person as of late, and there are so many things that need to be said, yet at the same time it would be pointless to say a word because the only thing it would do is get it off my mind for a little while. Getting it off my mind was precisely what I wanted to do a very short time ago, when it was all still fresh, when thinking about it didn't make me numb, it just stung a little. These things were undoubtedly expressed to this person as something I needed to discuss with them. Got so blown off...not so much blown off as bull-sh*tted, or maybe forgotten about. Like I said, haven't talked to this person really, I get there and they want to have a little small talk like nothing ever happened, as if I never expressed that there were things that needed to be discussed. I don't think so!!!, But the way I make a sitch like that work is I leave without saying a word. Leave with all the sh*t on my mind and put it on the back burner. To each his own I guess....one person ignores it by making small talk, and the other runs away. Good stuff.

I've gotten to the point that I wish I could turn that part of myself off at certain points in time because it leaves so much room for me to forget about myself.

I definitely need a Cindo Remote.




Backspace or rewind button definitely required for this girl. If I could rewind the past 2 years I think I'd be ok.