Jeez, haven't blogged in about a week, no big though. Not much to report as of this time anyway. Big goings on at work, suppposed merger with another company. We've been told that no one is going to be losing their jobs but we will be under new management. We'll see how this all spans out next week I guess.

Not really sure what else to blog about at this point. Too much personal stuff that I'm so not willing to share right now. Funny note though, got a call from a weird # the other day. Called it back, ended up being a misdial by someone. Got another call from the same # about 2 hours later, ended up recognizing the voice after a little convo. It was an ex that I haven't talked to in well over a year. The excuse for calling the first time so could have been a valid one if he hadn't called back the second time. Then he tells me to give him a call sometime if I'm not busy?!?!?! Gimme a break, you start seeing me, ditch me and go back to your fiancee' and then call me a year later, so not someone I need to be "giving a call if I have some time" or "stopping by to see sometime". Like I don't have enough problems in this department, I need an ex to be popping back around! Take the record off repeat....take the record off repeat....take the record off repeat......maybe it'll sink in.

I talk a lot to one of the women here at work, she's kind of my voice of reason during the day. We gossip about our lives a lot of the time, so she knows a lot about all the bull that I'm usually going through. She might even know a little mor than some of my closest friends do. She says that I have an old-fashioned mentality when it comes to relationships and dating. Granted I do have values, morals and standards on the subject, but seriously, there's only so much I can let slide anymore. Is it really too much to ask to be able to find someone that I get along wonderfully with who wants a relationship after a sufficient amount of time? Not someone who's "testing the water" , "Doesn't know what they want right now", someone who wants a "friends with benefits" type of deal or someone so engrossed with work that the forget the person they're seeing is even around? I thought I had a good idea on what this dating thing was all about, I didn't think it was about screwing around and dating numerous people until you find one to settle with. When I was younger I always thought it would be a story, something memorable, maybe a little bit of a fantasy....guess the only fantasy going on is the one in my head.....it's probably about time to get that checked anyway!

Even my work buddy doesn't understand how I find every guy in god's creation who 1. Can't commit 2. Sleeps around 3. Cheats 4. Complains about life constantly 5. Doesn't want to grow up 6. Lies on a regular basis (yes, omissions count as lies in my book). I wonder sometimes myself. Maybe it means that the more sh*t I go through the better things will work out for me later on in life. Hope that's the case. Then again, maybe it's just all guys in general, not just the ones I meet/reconnect with. I think that may really be the case, there really aren't any good guys out there anymore. Even the males I associate with on a non-relationship level are jerks too. They cheat and lie, not only to their friends and people they may be "seeing" but to themselves as well and that's sad.

Ok, I've bitched enough for one session, I'm sure there's more in this head of mine, but I'm done...spent...don't want to bother with it anymore. Any of it.